Boundaries define healthy relationships

THE EDITOR, Madam:

Last year, a young woman shared her story at a wellness seminar. She spoke about a close friend who constantly leaned on her for emotional support; late-night phone calls, unannounced visits, and endless venting sessions. She never complained, believing that being a ‘good friend’ meant always being available. But over time, she began feeling exhausted and anxious, especially when her friend never returned the same level of care. One day, after cancelling a family outing to comfort her friend for the third consecutive weekend, she realised something: she had been prioritising someone else’s peace at the expense of her own. That was the moment she decided to set boundaries.

Her story is not uncommon. Many of us, out of love, loyalty, or fear of being misunderstood, allow others to overstep our limits. We stay silent when we should speak up or bend when we should stand firm. Yet boundaries are not selfish, they are necessary. They define where we end and another person begins. In every relationship, whether friendship, romantic, or professional connection, boundaries protect our well-being and preserve mutual respect.

Take, for example, the friend who only calls when they need a favour, or the partner who dismisses your feelings as ‘too sensitive.’ In both cases, there is an imbalance; a quiet erosion of respect. Healthy relationships are built on reciprocity, where both parties listen, understand, and value each other’s space and emotions.

It’s important to remember that setting boundaries doesn’t mean you care less, it means you care correctly. You are choosing to sustain relationships that are emotionally balanced and nurturing rather than draining.

Mutual respect, the foundation of all meaningful relationships, is born from this understanding. It means recognising that each person has the right to their own time, space, and emotions. It’s about listening without interruption, honouring differences, and treating one another with dignity. Respect is not about control, it’s about consideration.

We often associate strength with endurance, but real strength lies in knowing when to say “no.” Walking away from situations that disregard your boundaries isn’t weakness; it’s self-preservation. The people who truly value you will never ask you to compromise your peace for their comfort.

Boundaries are not barriers – they are bridges. They teach us how to love ourselves and others more deeply, without losing ourselves in the process. When respect and boundaries coexist, relationships flourish. And that, perhaps, is the greatest act of love we can ever offer – to others, and to ourselves.

LEROY FEARON